Entry: a first lesson in learning to fly Dec 31, 2003



so yeah. ive got some feelings on this. and eventhough all this great stuff is happening. i think i might take some time to bitch, because my stomach ist feeling right, and neither am i.

"You weren't who I thought you were. Just another stupid guy. An asshole. Seemed different, but in the end, you're just like any other guy. A jerk and a hypocrite. Thanks for nothing. "

"Don't try to say you understand, because I'm sure you don't. Just for fun, I dug this out for you.
What I'm getting at here with all this? It's a big fuck you. Because I don't care anymore."

of course what you dug up was me talking about how guys are great at screwing things up. even though its words. it still stings. because i believe your bring honest. atleast your honest. cant ask for more really. and dont try to say i understand? guess what. yeah its true. ive never had anything quite like this before happen. but you can bet ive been the one whos not been chosen before. yeah. i was bitter about it. haha. really bitter, in fact that how i became better friends with the other guy who liked her. except that she said she felt somthing for me (or felt somthing but didnt know what it really was, to tell you the truth, i cant realy remember). and then out of nowhere got with another guy. blew me off. man i was pissed. but her and i are still friends. i mean. im talking to her now. lol. anyway. im feeling better. and i lost my train of thought. ill contiue later.

   1 comments

Lenalia
January 1, 2004   01:14 AM PST
 
You're sucha sweetie, just hang in there.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
(Please don't though)
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds just won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed id fight away all of your fears
And i've held your hand thru all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now i'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasent dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed id fight away all of your fears
And i've held your hand thru all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

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