hmm another post after midnight. i feel sorta wierd. im not in the usual emo mood that i fall into, but im not quite peppy either. playing some natural selection cheered me up. but my head is heavy. ive got to get up early tomarrow. and theres some things that im half expecting tomarrow. although the things i expect are usually the opposite of what turns out. who knows. i certianly dont and thats for sure, but ill remain optomistic...ish. geh. i guess ill go to bed now. and im gonna delete those 3 doors down lyrics. cause even though they're one of my fave bands. that song is taking up a lot of space n stuff. plus i dont feel that way anymore. that cd was just bringing back some harsh memories. anyway, ive stopped feeling tired. must mean its time for bed. goodnight.

yes yes. last night was lots of fun. USO swing dance with Kat and Megan. sad that Kayte couldnt make it though. good jazz music and things megs put red lipstick on my collar. lol. and dancing was fun, i did it most of the time. and before that i went out for mc'ds and coffee with megs. lunch of champions. lol. too much fog to see the sunrise. so i just watched everything get whiter out my window and fell back asleep this morning. maybe cause i havent had breakfast yet, but im not feeling too good. oh well i guess im done....

Dashboard Confessional - Again I go Unnoticed

so quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation.
exhale.
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.
please tell me you're just feeling tired
'cause if it's more than that I fear that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
please send me anything but signals that are mixed
'cause I can't read your rolling eyes.
out of touch, are we out of time?
Close lipped.
another goodnight kiss,
is robbed of all it's passion.
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.
please tell me you're just feeling tired
'cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
please send me anything but signals that are mixed
'cause I can't read your rolling eyes.
out of touch, are we out of time?
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see you smile again.
out of the corner of your eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then.
so quiet
another wasted night
the televison steals the conversation
exhale.
another wasted breath
again it goes unnoticed

Comfort

Go ahead and lean on my shoulder.
I'll be there to catch you when you fall.
To Wrap my arms around you
And carry you over these walls.

I'll never let you down
Cause I can't bear...
to see you drowning.

Pull me out, I'll pull you up
And things just might get better,
when we're finished.

Go ahead and call me
I'll be there to listen while you talk.
Talk to me about a choice,
I'll be happy just to hear your voice.

I can never let you down.
Cause I can't bear...
to hear you hurting.

Pull me out, I'll pull you up
And things just might get better,
when we're finished.

Go ahead and kiss me.
I'll be there to kiss you right back.
Wrap my arms around you,
And wish that maybe this could last forever...

Maybe you should pull me down,
Cause I cant bear to be...
still on the ground.



i wrote it during english today..and yeah..i like it.

yeah sorry, its been a while since my last entry, but my brain has been busy. i guess i could write some stuff about whats going on though. today i went to SPECTRUM. gay streight allience club. cause my friend kat invited me to go. twas cool. then afterward we walked with megan and kayte and nikki and alexis...i think thats everyone. so we sat in a corner, and it was freakin sticky on the floor, but everyone was havin fun with duct tape. megan got spoka-dots. fun stuff. then school started and we cooked stew stuff in japanese. twas good. used it as my lunch. and our japanese pen pals came to meet us. theyre like 18, 19 or so. gave them a nice akward tour around campus. wheeeeee. they were nice though. gave us candy. which i enjoyed. haha. yeah im excited for tomarrow! but i cant tell you why cause its a suprise. hehehe. ah, i guess im done though. i might start posting some of the poems and sttuff that im doing, cause those are cool i think. but anyway. goodnight

my mind was blank, not to many tangible thoughts. and after writing one poem, i feel completely different. its hard to describe.i wonder what tomarrow will be like. gah. well going. seeya.

yeah, heres another pic that i did. originally for an english project, but i still like it. it was originally named Sunset_With_Fractals, but i realised that read and orange are a bit more sunrisey. anyway, you can click on it to see a slightly larger one, but since the pic hosting is stoopid its too big to display full size..but anyways. enjoy.

ah yes, an interesting morning. the sunrise just turned out to be a transition from blackness to white fog. blah. sucks. and i ddnt get coffee this morining, but mr pibb will do. yea..posting from 3 rd period. waiting for my stuff to render. ah tome for lunch. yay!

i havent really made a real entry for today, so i guess i will now....

i woke up to the sound of pouring rain......actually i did this moring. and my whole family turned off their alarms and went back to sleep, so we had to rush after m dad woke us up 15 mins before we had to go. heh, fun stuff. then school, which was alright. then chess club, i played two games, lost them both, then went to chris's place. hung around, played crazy taxi on dreamcast, fun game. then ran back to ferris , went home. swim team. came back. english homework. i wanted to talk to people soo bad. but i was doing my homework and listening to aqua teen hunger force. haha its been soo long. the jokes were making me laugh really hard which was good. and then megan, made me realise somthing that i knew all along. and today dosnt seem like its been a good day for anyone. Kayte is feeling bad, megan is torn up. i didnt realise just how much till i read their blogs. bad. and kayte, i want to make her feel better so bad, but...i just cant seem to. and megan...and caitlin. all these people with their problems. all i can do is be there, and hope that it helps....i managed to scrounge myself a ghetto cup of coffee. used hot water from the bathroom sink and the instant stuff that we have. its alright. and im so damn frustrated. but i guess cant always help everyone that i want to, and i guess some things you need to work out for yourself. i learned that putting on a mask is just as bad as lying. not only to yourself, but to the people you care about, and thats what makes it the worst. i feel like i havent been acting like myself lately, and i want to go back. I dont want to try and be somthing im not. i like who i am. time to start acting how i feel, not how i feel after i think about it. im reminded of the famous "think with your heart, not with your head" i duno who said it, but they were onto somthing. easier said though. easier said then done. i want to have some fun. i want to feel happy, i want these people to feel happy again. blah. im ranting again, but i guess it cant be helped. im planning on getting up early so i can sit and watch the sun rise with a cup of coffee. because sunrises make me feel better. heh, i think ill hug some people tomarrow. because hugs are kickass. haha. dewd. i feel tiredish. coffee needs to kick in. ill need an excuse for my drawing that was de today that i should have tomarrow that i wont cause i havent started. gah. itl be easy though. i just have to do it. and im becoming more out of it...so i think ill post this, and i might come back if i have some more thoughts on things. laters.

bleh. i feel wierd lately. and i know these dashboard songs soo well because i only have 15 and i just listen to them over and over because theyre great. and now when i hear good parts i just want to like sing em real loud but i know my family would think im all wierd n stuff. hehe. hell ill probably just end up doing it anyway. and so it would seem that blah and bleh are my new fave catch phrases. yeah. i got aqua teen hunger force back today. its been a while. the jokes still make me bust a gut. HAHAH HOLY CRAP! THAT FUNNY!...ahem..anyway. i cant think of much more. doing crappy homework. blah.

"yea.  hehe.  hmm...  so conflicting thoughts...  yea, still there, but it's all... yea, it's ok now. yea.  heh...  whee.  yessum.  but who knows, may change.  hope not.  well... yea.  or no.  i mean... never mind, i don't know.  hah.  yea.  err... still weird.  in my head.  oh, screw it, this makes no sense.  lyrics.  crazy.  hah.  yea, i think i'm done now, because this really makes no sense.  mostly.  or not.  but yea.  done." ~Kayte

one of the best quotes ever. haha. so yeah. i should probably do my homework now.....blah.