well im glad to say steam was successfully defeated at the lan today. haha YES! and my diet consisted of mostly mountain dew (24 oz for lunch, 64 oz for dinner) so now im eating a quessadia, some real like food. its quite good. haha and for breakfast i had 2 eggos and a red bull. KICKASS! hmm....yeah man...i didnt really want to leave at lunch, and it probably would have been better if i didnt. because of sarcastic comments made. gar. and man.. i have no freakin clue what im going to do this weekend except for sunday. yes indeedy. eh i dunno what to write. im still hungry, think ill toast myself a bagel or two. goodnight.

wow! MEGS! I was going to post these lyrics today. lol. well great minds think alike yeah? Hey im really sorry, i wanted to talk to you today about all the junk going through my skull, but it was really busy, missing the ride home, fights with my dad, then swimteam, then i got home and called an old friend of mine who ive been meaning to call for a long time. and then i called kaiti back cause she called while i was gone. and then bed. gar. well "bed". here i am up at 12:30 on the freakin computer. lol. but hey, sorry, just dont take today as me not wanting to talk to you about stuff. i really wanted to but it was jampact and i was out of time before i could see you online or call you. and no its not really a front. im alright. just a couple things were making me blah. so no worries k? =) well im gonna get a nice cool glass of water and then get some sleep. goodnight,

and now the lyrics.


Ender Will Save Us All - Dashboard Confessional


It's just like you to contest
Wear it like a label on your breast
don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies
With your charm and in your pride
a hopeful look draped in despise.

I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it what I need?
I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it within me?

It's hard to explain how I am getting by
on so little from you.
It's hard to believe that I would let myself
get so wrapped into you.
There's got to be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you, from you, from you.

The harder I push the further I fall.
Well you don't mind me being headstrong.
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but I can always, always, always be wrong

It's just like you to contest
Wear it like a label on your breast
don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies
With your charm and in your pride
a hopeful look draped in despise.

I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it what I need?
I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it within me?

It's hard to explain how I am getting by
on so little from you.
It's hard to believe that I would let myself
get so wrapped into you.
There's got to be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you, from you, from you.


The harder I push the further I fall.
Well you don't mind me being headstrong.
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but I can always, always, always be wrong, be wrong, be wrong
Try not to be, try not to be, try not to be, try not to be wrong

i tell ya what. i really need some fun. and next weekend. im gonna make some happen for us and us too. gar sorry i didnt let ya keep finding nemo. i should have, but i was spacin and you handed it to me. gar. lol. yeah sunday, definitely movie watching. yes yes. i do believe sleep will be difficult tonight. especially if i sneak the cup of coffee that im craving, but for now, ice cream will have to do. feburuary is by new favorite month. lol. and still 20 days left! YES! ok, this is quite a random entry, but i felt like writing it. yeah i didnt get a work done for the Blue Sfear Battle, ill just wait till the next one. no biggie. oh man. i remember when i was rockin out to this song before the lyrics actually made a little sense and started relating to things. but here i am rockin out again. yes sir. i do love rockin out. =) goodnight.


The Ataris - I Remember You

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you.
And all the tears you cried, that called my name.
And when you needed me I came through.

I paint a picture of the days gone by,
When love went blind and you would make me see.
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes.
So that I knew you were there for me,
Time after time, you were there for me.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.
Love letters in the sand, I remember you.
Through the sleepless nights, through every endless day,
I'd wanna hear you say, I remember you.

We spend the summer with the top rolled down,
Wished ever after would be like this.
You said "I love you babe," without a sound.
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss.
I'd live for your smile, and die for your kiss.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.
Love letters in the sand, I remember you.
Through the sleepless nights, through every endless day.
I'd wanna hear you say, I remember you.

We've had our share of hard times,
But that's the price we paid.
And through it all, we kept the promise that we made.
I swear you'll never be lonely.

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,
Washed away a dream of you.
But nothing else could ever take you away,
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true,
Oh my darling, I love you!

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.
Love letters in the sand, I remember you.
Through the sleepless nights, and every endless day.
I'd wanna hear you say, I remember you.

Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.
Love letters in the sand, I remember you.
Through the sleepless nights, and every endless day.
I'd wanna hear you say,
I remember
,I remember you
ohhh uhhh yeah!

there arent any songs ive ever heard about " it hurts that were not together, but im really glad were still friends, because i can still see good times ahead". but what you posted seemed perfect, so its what ill leave with.

Goodbye - Jagged Edge

Sometimes
What may be the best thing
For you to do
Sometimes thats the hardest thing
For you to do
And that, that's real you know 'cause
I know I love you
I know how I feel about you
But I also know that don't
Make everything aight
And for that reason
I gotta say goodbye

Tell me
Have you ever been in a
Situation where the
Best thing you could do
Was the hardest thing
You've ever done
The hardest thing you've ever done
But you try to do
What's right
And I know deep down inside
That I really wanna be
There by your side
But I can't stand to see you cry
Not when it's because of me
Yeah, yeah, yeah

And it's over
I'll never love another
I'm always thinking of her
I'm doing this because her

I don't wanna say goodbye
I don't wanna let her see me cry
Looking out the window
Wonderin' why
Did we have to say all those things
That we said that night
(That we said that night)
Baby
I don't wanna say goodbye
So I'm just standing here
Wondering why
Just don't like to
See when you cry
So I'mma say goodbye

Did you think cause
I packed your stuff
Inside I ain't really
Really cracking up?
Well, you're wrong
I just hide it good
'Cause I know that's
What you need girl
And there's more to life
Than loving yourself
You gotta learn to
Love somebody else, yeah
And that's why I
Do the things that I do
Oh

And it's over
I'll never love another
I'm always thinking of her
I'm doing this because her

I don't wanna say goodbye
I don't wanna let her see me cry
Looking out the window
Wonderin' why
Did we have to say all those things
That we said that night
(That we said that night)
Baby
I don't wanna say goodbye
So I'm just standing here
Wondering why
Just don't like to
See when you cry
So I'mma say goodbye

Aint no one in this world
That can ever take your place
All the love that we shared,
It can never be erased
And I know that,
And it hurts so bad
And I'm sorry babe,
Your the best I've had

Aint no one in this world
That can ever take your place
All the love that we shared,
It can never be erased
And I know that,
And it hurts so bad
And I'm sorry babe,
Your the best I've had

Somthing Corporate - Punk Rock Princess

Maybe when the room is empty, maybe when the bottles full,
maybe when the door gets broke down love can break in.

Maybe when I'm done with thinking, maybe you can think me whole,
maybe when I'm done with endings this can begin.

If you could be my punk rock princess I could be your garage band king.
You could tell me why you just don't fit in and how you're 'gonna be something.

Maybe when your hair gets darker, maybe when your eyes get wide,
maybe when the walls are smaller there will be more space.
Maybe when I'm not so tired, maybe you could step inside,
maybe when I look for things that I can't replace.

If you could be my punk rock princess I could be your garage band king.
You could tell me why you just don't fit in and how you're 'gonna be something.
If I could be your first real heartache I would do it over again.
If you could be my punk rock princess, I would be your heroine.

I never though you'd last, I never dreamed you would.
You watch your life go past, you wonder if you should.

If you could be my punk rock princess
So I could be your garage band king
You could tell me why you just don't fit in
and how you're gonna be something
If I could be your first real heartache
I would do it over again
If you could be my punk rock princess
I would be your heroine.

You know you only burn my bridges
You know you just can’t let it sink in
You could be my heroine
You could be my heroine

Something Corporate - I Want to Save You

standing on the edge of morning
scent of sex and new found glory
playing as she's pulling back her hair
she drives away
she's feeling worthless
used again but nothing's different
she'd stay the night
but knows he doesn't care

home by three
deafening quiet
the porch light's off
yes they forgot it
she'd cry herself to sleep
but she don't dare
and she wants to be a model
she wants to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you

dressed by dawn and out the door
no light
she memorized the floor
so she could leave without being detected
she works till three
it's uniform
she dreams that he'll come by the store
she prays for days
when boys mean she's protected
and she wants someone to see her
she needs to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you

and she won't sleep
she won't sleep
and she won't sleep
at all

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you

Something Corporate - The Astronaut

i've been sleeping with ghosts
i've been watching stars
crawling out of the sky
and i've been hoping
i'm close to the space man movies
i call my life

and i've been climbing ladders through time
i've got tunnel vision
but i'm doing fine
and i've been
watching stars coming off of the wall
and maybe if i'm lucky i can catch them
before you fall
and you are not alone

calling out to the astronaut
i need some of what you've got
i need to be high
crawling out of the world she brought
calling out to the astronaut
i need to be high

and i've been holding
this microphone
and i've been channeling out
but i think we're alone
and i've got platinum vision
innocent for the touch
i've got you to propel me
but i still need so much
not to be alone

calling out to the astronaut
i need some of what you've got
i need to be high
crawling out of the world she brought
calling out to the astronaut
i need to be high

and you are not alone
you are not alone
you are not alone

calling out to the astronaut
i need some of what you've got
i need to be high
crawling out of the world she brought
calling out to the astronaut
i need to be high
calling out to the astronaut
i need some of what you've got
i need to be high
disappear in the world she brought
calling out to the astronaut
i need to be high

and i've got you to propel me
but i still need so much

Something Corporate - Hurricaine

Shake down you make me break
For goodness sake
I think I'm on the edge
Of something new with you
Shout out don't drown the sound
I'll drown you out
You'll never screan so loud
As I want to scream with you

Standing there with your smile blinding
Your eyes from seeing
My face as I'm dying
To figure out a girl
But she drifts so far away
I'm on her coast
So maybe I should stay
And map around your world

[Chorus]
So Don't Say
"These currents are still killing me"
And you can't explain
But the wind went and pulled me
Into the hurricane

Stand up don't make a sound
Your ears might bleed
There are sweet flourescent enemies
That live inside me
The world moves faster than I knew
Not fast enough to not creep up on you
And the space we put between
So pull me under your weather patterns
Your cold fronts and the rain don't matter
Becuase a sun burn's what I needed

[Chorus]

You don't do it on purpose
But you make me shake
Now I count the hours 'til you wake
With your babies breath
Breathe symphonies
Come on sweet catastrophe

Well, maybe this time I can follow through
I can feel complete
Stop paying dues
Stop the rain from falling
Keep my ocean calm
This time I know nothings wrong

[Chorus x2]

Something Corporate - Straw Dog

Staring into the intersection, she thinks that she can fly and she might
Holding on in a new direction, she's gonna try it tonight
The closer I get to feeling, the further that I'm feeling from alright
The more I step into the sun, the more I step out of the light

Jessica is covered ina blanket on a Sunday porch
Thinking of the weekends she would party in the city
She doesn't have a flame, she'd prefer to burn out like a torch
If she gets nowhere in life, at least she know's she pretty

She said, "Hey, now, the straw dog's out in the street
Hey now, there's chemicals in the clouds
Hey now, they're calling all the police
They won't get to us, anyhow."

The moon is shining now and shadows are what's left of all the noise
Simple silhouettes and cutouts as if we had the choice
He listens closely now, swears that he can hear a voice
That's calling him and saying

"Hey, now, the straw dog's out in the street
Hey now, there's chemicals in the clouds
Hey now, they're calling all the police
They won't get to us, anyhow."

What does it take to be a superhero in my world?
Make no mistake that these villains always get the girl
We can escape, and then we'd skate away from all of this
And no one ever does.

She's saying "Hey, now, the straw dog's out in the street
Hey now, there's chemicals in the clouds
Hey now, they're calling all the police
They won't get to us, anyhow."

Something Corporate - Good News

she's trapped inside her room
with reruns on the screen
old books and movies
but she can't stop thinking
i'm torn between myself
my radio my friends
i want to write this one off over and over and over again
and then she looked at me to scream
"my castles are falling"
but i can't look into the street
without everything changing

i want to read good news
i want to be innocent again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening

she waits all day
she stands a stranger in her skin
she moves the science with her hands
she lines her walls
with every paper she can see
these words consume her
but they never set her free
and then she looked at me to scream
"my castles are falling"
but i can't look into the street
without everything changing

i want to read good news
i want to be innocent again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening

i want to read good news
i want to be a little kid again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening
i want to read good news
i want to go to sleep at night again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening


Lifehouse - Am I Ever Gonna Find Out

silence is golden
but I think it's gonna kill me now
everything I've seen
never seems to filll me now
no one told me that the world could fall through yeah

in between this
am I gonna find a way
to defeat this
living inside yesterday
I'm alive but I think it's time to live
like I am
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find out

patience can wait for now
I think I've waited for too long
you always gave a choice
and the right to be wrong
all my life has been slipping through your hands yeah

in between this
am I gonna find a way
to defeat this
living inside yesterday
I'm alive, I think it's time to live
like I am
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find out

in between this
am I gonna find a way
to defeat this
living inside yesterday
I'm alive, I think it's time to live
like I am
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find out

I think it's time to live
like I am
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find it
am I ever gonna find out


Lifehouse - Stanley Climbfall

quiet
seems like an honest world
you're begging for the beggars' bread when the money's out
stand, climb, and fall
you carry the world
can't carry your own

when the world is falling down
and another breaks
and another falls
for losers always make the winners' day

stand, climb, and fall
you carry the weight
can't carry it all

are you falling
are you faking
are you healing
are you breaking
am I burning
am I only melting
these diamonds in the making

and I'm at the end of myself
anything you want
and nothing seems to satisfy me
take anything you want

quiet
a sound you know so well
you're living just to make it through another day
stand, climb, and fall
you carry the world
can't carry your own

are you falling
are you faking
are you healing
are you breaking
am I burning
am I only melting
these diamonds in the making

and I'm at the end of myself
anything you want
and nothing seems to satisfy me
take anything you want
take anything you want
take anything you want

quiet


Lifehouse - Wash

never meant to waste your time
never meant to fall out of line
I always tried to get closer to you
now it seems with every step
feels like I'm losin' my breath
I don't know what else I can do

but you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you wash over me
you wash over me like sunshine

I never had to choose
living a life with you
or choosing lies only half true
now I'd rather be
alone with you and me
than hiding behind these walls

when you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you wash over me
you wash over me like sunshine
and you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you fall over me
you crawl over me
like sunshine
like sunshine

everything in the world was falling through
all I knew was to look to you
my sunshine
all my life never found my place
until I felt the sunlight on my face
my sunshine

never meant to waste your time
never meant to fall out of line
I always tried to get closer to you
now it seems with every step
feels like I'm losing my breath
I don't know what else I can do

but you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you wash over me
you wash over me like sunshine
and you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you fall into me
you crawl into me
like sunshine
like sunshine
like sunshine
like sunshine


haha, well if you actually made it to the end, congrats, i really likes these songs. and its funny how a lot of them tie into life right now. yay. well i think i need some lunch of somesort. haha. and if im lucky ill do somthing with megs tonight. younglife concert would be cool. woo. ok seeya.

||Feelin|[lil strange, but ok *thumbs up*
||Listenin|[Something_Corporate


i really wanted to do a new entry. so... heres one. megans still sickly. gar! but im trying to get her to feel better. i got her some much craved coffee. i was glad she liked it. made me smile. yes yes. ive decided to get into the battle art competitions at Blue Sfear. basically thay give you some pictures and its your job to make art out of them. works are chosen for the finals and those are voted on by site members. its pretty cool. winner gets 6 months of free web hosting, but im pretty much in it for the prospect of getting somthing i made posted on a quality art site. lol. and man the people im up against are good. woo! ok enough rambling about that. lol. yeah. i spent a lot of time drawing today. and its cool because people are starting to look right when i draw them. so now i can do some of the characters ive got up in my head. yay! haha ok. i think ill be done for now. but ill make sure to post some more stuffs. seeya.

and then she looked at me to scream
"my castles are falling"


its sort of silly.... i called you before i read your entry for today, and then wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing. you sounded happy, but just tired, a little exhausted. i didnt know you had such a bad day.

when it all crumbles down, ill still be standing for you. you mean so much to me...
i want to hold up your pillars, i dont want to see you fall. you caught me before i stepped off the edge. you've still got me by the hand. squeeze it tight. see yourself reflected in my eyes. everythings going to be alright....

hello peoples. i havent written in a couple days. so i thought id blurb a bit.

the last couple of days have been filled with noodles. stir fry cooking. lol i guess i dont have what it takes to be a chef. atleast not for a job. haha but i still enjoy cooking. yes yes. although i never really ate any of it. even though we cooked over 400 bowls. funny eh? lol.


and then hung out at megans. i was really happy when she invited me over. cause i missed her. but today she taught me that i would always loose. that is of course up untill i find the secret weak spot. lol. but i seriously say that next weekend we should devote a day to just movie watching. and you could show me all your cool movies that i havent seen. because dude. i want to see em! and i could even totally come over in my pajamas and bring cerial! haha ok now that might be a bit too far...but it would be soo fun! cmon you have to admit it. haha. but it is quite late. and i should be heading off. goodnight.

because to me the stories of the lonely soul who only wished for love and ends up dying alone are the saddest....

there is a boy, falling off a cliff. the boy catches himself by the hand but is oblivious to the fact that he is about to punch himself in the back of the head. but he is restrained by himself holding onto his shoulder while he is defended from himself being held back by himselves by himself.

a funny picture i made in my head. maybe ill draw it somtime. id call it "human" because i believe it would be an ironic and appropirate title.

ever wonder just how many things fall under the category of

"the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"